Choosen One

There was a story about a guy that felt happy for the girl that he love so much when the girl wanna to get marry.  I just never feel that way before because I always feel that I ain't good enough for anyone and no one is good enough for me either. Am I too selfish ? But actually when I think back about what type of guy that I wanna as my boyfriend just too perfect that I can't believe what reason do I have to have this kind of guy in my life.  What I know is that god give us something and they take back something from us. So those people that think boys/girls ain't good enough from them should think what does they deserve to have a better one.

Thought

Now a day, I keep on thinking back about all those high school memory that me and my bff had.  It was so fun but now I found out that what I can't find in college is happiness.  All those subject became harder and my results ain't like my high school anymore.  Everything change when u growth older and everything that I know become weaker to me. Why is it happening?  Such a sad situation.  I am totally losing everything.  Everytime I am alone, I felt so lonely and nothing seem to be right for me.

Miracle

Life is just so meaningless

Why do people need to live and work hard for a better life

But at the end what we get is just suffering from sickness
This is just not right

I hope that in the end, we as a human being can live happily without any pain

Regret and mistake happen to everyone

But we learn how to forgive and forget

But do miracle happen on us?

But I hope that miracle could happen

Who are you to judge ?

Everyone is different although they are not prefect

But they dont deserve being judge by others

We also have our right to fight back when others judge us

Maybe we are not rich or pretty

But we are still a human being that have feeling

So when others jugde you badly 

Be strong and fight back

But not just crying at the back without fight back

She is gone

28.8.2011

On that day morning she keep on looking at me when I was in her room 

Her pretty eye look at me like she miss me so much

I know that she was in pain but she can't speak then on that night she just pass away

I miss her so much

That I still can't accept that she is gone

I regret that I did not love her that much as she does

Before she pass away she suffer alot 

But she never show out how much pain she was in

What left is just memory

Truth

I am in the dark

Searching for the truth

Everything that I did is wrong? !!

WHY? Why is this happening?

Where is the truth ?

What can I do with it?

I never know that I was wrong

I never know that everyone is hating me

But now I know

I just nothing but just an idoit that noone would care
What I did is just wasting my time

I think, I did the right decision to let you go

I happy for you that you found the one that love you

If I am with you, your life will be miserable

I am right that I made my own life miserable

And with you there for me, you will live like this as I am

I feel happy but not massing up with ur life 

Best wishes for ya from me  

hATE IT

What am I bullshitting around?!!

He is lying

The biggest lier

My gosh act like you are not a play boy

But actually you are

Thanks god I din fall for you that hard and I reject you

I made the right choice

But now I am in the darkness and I am dying from no one willing to listen to me

I am sad not because of you

I am sad because I facing a big problems

Heart

I am leaving scars in my heart

I will never believe in love anymore

Their is no soul for me

I am just empty

No one will be my mate

No one will know how to understand me

Just dont come back to me

I know I am hurting u

I know I cant take one more step toward you

Cause all the waiting is regrets

I need to learn to live by myself

Plase dont come back to me anymore

I want you one more time

But you will never get my thought

I wish I could just forget about you

But dont even know what I doing

I need you to hold me

No matter what I said

I am just a lier

I never be true to you

But you already giving up on me

Maybe I am hurting u too hard

Their is no way to find any love for me

I will just forget what I hope to

Everytime love come

I will always push it away

Past

Now only I get to know the true

Why I am not as brave as I am now ?

I regret not to be brave because I am too dumb to be true

In to whatever thing that have been over for like so freaking long is no use for now

Better plan for the future more then the past

Love is hurt

Life is hard

Dream that never come true

Over the life that never give me a brave-ness

Tired

When u needed a help their is no one to help
The tears will just fall just like that
Nothing is needed but just a help to make my job more easy
I felt tired and I hate what they have turn me as their working leader
Non-stop working make me felt so tired
I am not good enough
Being a PR is not really that easy
When u need to handle it
All by urself for the last part to combine everything in one

Thought

I felt so unhappy with what my mind was thinking

maybe I think to much

I am sick and tired of the negative thinking

what can I do with it?

I feel the jealousy from me to the others around me

I wish I could be smarter

I hope I could have the whole world by using my mind 

The negative thought should stop 

I hope life could be more easy for me 

I wanna the best of me 

I wanna the life that everyone could envy me 

Where is me!!

I dont't know what happen to me

I felt so wrong

I felt so sick

I felt so lonely

I am so tired of everything around me

What can I do with it ? Please tell me what to do

I don't know why is everything goes wrong

I just wanna a happy movie to watch but now it seem like is hard

Because there is no one to be with me, no one to help n no one to care about me

I am such a loser

I am such a loner

college life

I am not really good in making friends in new environment

Everytime when I make friends at the end I will be alone

Why is life so hard for me?

Really tired with my life

I wanna a better life

I wanna everything turn out to be easy

Tired with everything is not right

Freaking out with college life

My Birthday

Today is the orientation day in my college

Not really successful by making friends with the peoples around me

But never mind because I will try my best to make friends

Haiz college is really a new life

There r too many students around so it's really scary

I hope that I could success in this course 

So wish me luck 

Depression

This is really sucked when everytime I saw that idoit coming back n screaming at me like I am doing something wrong. I am really sicked of this life . I never bother to have those thing that can't last forever because I believe nothing can last forever. I hate the feeling that I had now because is really making me sicked n tired of what had happen. I promise myself, that I will never wanna to felt that way again. I hate this life.... I hate everything around me .... I dont wanna to make myself crazy but if crazy is that way to make it better then I will accept it . Nothing come along with enough this word because I will never feel enough with what I has or what I have and I wanna more. What will always stay forever with u , IT WILL ALWAYS BE URSELF so just wake up and keep urself updated.

Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor (Explicit) ft. Eminem, Skylar Grey

Bring me back to alive

starting

I am ready for new life

I am going to left behind all my memory

Forgot about what have happen

Accepting all the future

I dont need any fake caring dudes to make my life happy

Because I dont need any happiness when I am in my own world

I am just good enough for myself

Nothing

Sometime I really can felt the streesness rush to my head

It is going to make me crazy for this

I am tired of being like that

I wanna to be as far as I could from my problems

Sometime really hard for me to be like that

I felt the empty without a friends to talk or share with

I am lonely

I am afraid

I am sick n tired of it

I wanna to calm myself down for awhile

But my mind dont wanna to listen

I wanna work with all I hear

But its nothing

I really got nothing

there is the devil

First starting with a devil walk into the house and scold me like hell

Next the devil was so selfish

Now, great a new nightmare is coming for me 

Why does everything is happening on me ?

I am so scare

I don't wanna this

I just wanna freedom

I'm sorry

I really regret to start the date between u n me

I just feel not right about it

I wanna to tell u that I don't want any surprise from u anymore

I am sorry about that

I like u since the starting of my form 5 life

But now is almost one year

I don't think I got any feeling on u anymore

I don't know how to tell u

I am scare that we won't be friend anymore

I REALLY SORRY ABOUT IT

Just let the relationship between us go naturally 

new me

me

Results

SPM results is not really a happy thing to me

I am kind of sad and dissapointed with what I get

What can i do?

What can i be?

I dono what to choose

Where to start ?

Life is really hard for me

And what I know is

I hate it

rIGHT AND wRONG

Between black and white there is a grey

I can't different the right and the wrong

I dont know where can I can found my feeling for love anymore

Too many problem in my life

Too many troubles

Who can I talk to?

Who can help me?

I wanna a friends that can listen to me and understand me

today

Today going out and I was having fun
It was a nice starting for me


I still cant find my future
My dream
......................
still dono what to write

IN KEM PUNCAK PERMAI WITH FRIENDS FROM KUCHING WAITING FOR THE PERNUTUPAN

CNY IN KUCHING



CNY IN KUCHING

MY DORM IN THE CAMP

Feelings

I am having those feeling that I cant explain
I feel sad and tired at the same time
I am blur
I am lost
I don know what to choose for my life
I need help
I need people that I can talk to
I am sick

tHe WisHer N HopE

The first time I feel what a person felt when they left home and the one that she love was ill and not even a relative tell u about that ...I was so stupid

I felt that I am so useless

nothing I could do but just praying

hope that god will help us

wish that she will be well again

wish that she will be healthy

HAppy chinese new year

life in here is tiring and boring 

everyday was so tired and not enough sleep 

life was hard

different from what i expected 

but all the friends from the dorm was nice and friendly 

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 

TO 

my friends n family 

have fun

this is the first new year that i had in Kuching

firework here was nice 

OMG i cannot believe it

2011

This is the last day that I am still in KL

So I wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR

I will see all of my friends after the 3 months

I will miss and LOVE u all as my BFF and friends

I wish that everyone can be happy in this new year

And get whatever that u guys like in this 2011

I will see you my blog after the few months

Adios